Of God winks and snakes

The phone rang in the hub bub of happy, bickering children ( that's what makes them happy , is to bicker.  and see who is the king or queen of the mountain).

After a night of little sleep and lots of crying, I really didn't feel like picking up the phone, until I saw that it was my beloved OB GYNs private #. After asking me how I am , to which I replied " not very good, but I will be alright ". There was silence on the other end for a bit, than she asked " what is going on?" So I told her my diagnosis. We had such a good , encouraging conversation it did wonders for me. It was a  gigantic God wink in my day. She said she had been thinking about me that week and I was so heavy on her mind that morning she decided to call me and see if she could convince me to have my lump removed, since my med records showed that I had decided to wait. I have no idea where wires got crossed with that info, but do think it was God's way of giving me encouragement for the day.

For lunch we went out to eat and S and L sat at a table all by themselves. Proud as peacocks they were , than we browsed through our local wally world after that we took a scenic drive to Hershberger's truck patch and watched kettle korn being popped. Of course we had to buy some, which the children promptly munched as soon as we were home.

I did some other errands also, its funny how  your world can tilt on its axis but life goes on, clothes become dirty and need to be washed, food needs to be prepared for hungry littles that have bottomless tummies, homework has to be done , and dead hosteas need to be trimmed which gave me an adventure that Saturday...

I was giving the hosteas their haircut for the coming fall, when out slithered a snake from beneath the bushes.

At the sight of that loathsome creature,  I  forgot that I am diagnosed with cancer, and had surgery a couple days before... Basically forgot everything and had tunnel vision focused on getting the best of the dumb snake that was doing its utmost to weave away from the crazy two legged being ( me) that was whacking at it with trimming shears. Unbeknownst to the nervy garter or any snake .( I would make an exception for a python or a cobra though, I would run away as fast as my legs could carry me if I would see one ) you don't come close to me unless you want to be roadkill. I had a very sore breast and arm  for the next week as proof of my snake killing experience.

Trekking Onward

 You can refer to my first post of my initial response to being diagnosed. The following is a continuation of Friday evening/night and Saturday's(. I have been trying to link to my first post without success, if you have any tips for me, by all means let me know)

By the time we were back in our hometown it was around our children's normal bedtime. Miss B had fallen sound asleep at the sitters , so we put her to bed here at home and quickly bathed the other 3 kiddos  and put them to bed , trying our best to act as normal as possible.

After the children were all tucked into bed. The dam broke and tears fell as we contemplated the yet unknown, uncharted future ahead of us.

Sleep was a long time in coming that endless night, once I did fall into a restless sleep, my dreams consisted of lumps being mixed up and misdiagnosis, you name it , I dreamt it.

By 3 am I gave up on trying to sleep and crawled out of bed , crept downstairs and started a load of laundry, I heard B whimpering in her sleep and went to pick her up. As I  cradled her in my arms and breathed in her sweet baby smell, tears ran down my cheeks, as I thought of all the upheaval this would create in their innocent, happy little lives.

My sweet little B, I want to be here for you and watch you grow up...I want to see Dad walk each of you girls down the aisle, and be there for the special moments in your lives. K, I want to  watch you grow and mature into manhood and meet and know the lady you will marry someday. To my dear hubs , I want to grow old and gray with you , walking around in tottering steps, complaining about our aches and pains....anticipating the times our children and grandchildren drop in to visit us. Oh dear God , these are the desires of my heart.



Let me watch my children grow , to see what they become. Oh Lord, don't let that cold wind blow till I'm too old to die young. The lyrics to this old country song is my prayer to my Heavenly Father.


I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help My help cometh from the Lord, who made the heaven and the earth. Psalm 121

The Day My World Changed

Friday morning rolled around. I was nervous, my fridge was scrubbed, the pantry was neat as a pin, the laundry room shined, the floors were mopped and 98 meatballs were safely stowed away in the freezer. Yes , I know surgery on Monday and working like a maniac by Friday, this is what happens when I'm nervous, okay :-)

By this time it was 1:30 and time to get the children ready to go to the sitters and myself ready also. We were out the door by 2:30. The children were all excited to go to the sitters and bounce on the trampoline.

I told our sitter if we aren't back by 5:30 to feed the kiddos supper . Fully expecting to be back by 5 pm.

Hubs and I drove out the long lane onto the narrow road that connected us to the state route that would take us to our destination. We arrived a few minutes early and didn't see my Dr till about 30 minutes later, where she than told us the earth shattering news.

Here I will sing my highest praises for my surgeon , a kinder more compassionate way of breaking the news , would not have been possible. She spent an unknown amount of time answering our questions,  informing us of the treatment and surgery options in a kind , gentle manner. Being honest with us and telling us how shocked she had been with the results and therefore had 2 different pathologist check out my tissue to make sure that I was diagnosed correctly. Remember my lump had been deemed 95% surety of being benign ( noncancerous )

Just as a little aside, I am one of these people that finds humor in a lot of things and that evening at Wendy's a biker dude just made my day , by the slogan on the clothes he was wearing " Loud pipes, save lives" My hubs and I have chewed on that saying ever since.